Dearest Ryder, my son. This title coming from my mouth still feels so new and  full of wonder but not at all foreign or strange.  My son is so familiar to me its like I've always known him & yet not at all knowing much about him. Although Not so much as an ounce of me REALLY wants to see him grow any bigger than this because this time is so precious and sacred to me. But, I suppose each moment & phase will be so. 
In life before there was him, I thought  i wanted to freeze & slow down time and now, this post Ryder life is a whole new level of longing for something that cannot be. I find myself practicing often this act of surrender involved in parenthood as I want to love him with every ounce of who I am. but, I attempt to exercise my weak muscle of restraint when it comes to this boy for i don't want to be shocked when he no longer needs me the way he does, or the inevitable, no longer wants me the way he does now. That is a sobering feeling which makes me want to call my mom and call my Dad and weep with every apology of adolescence & early adulthood where i rejected, ignored, acted unappreciatively, proudly, rudely etc... etc... etc..
I wonder, how did they not say to me "i put everything aside for you, sacrificing my time my sleep, my freedom my days, my nights my ability to choose when i ate, drank, went to the bathroom,  showered, shopped...." how did they not say in so many words & explain "i loved you before you even knew how to love me back! you were my dream & my dream come true and i wiped your bum, washed your clothes, bathed your body, held your head and i was your life support!.."  so dont you DARE ...----- {fill in the blank.} But thinking back i suppose my mom did warn me of this & say all there is to say to one who has not yet received this gift of parenthood 
"you will understand when you have your own children." 
Mom, I understand & the journey has just begun. 

Almost one year ago was my last post and it was for father's day to my own amazing Dad.. 

This year, I post to my husband on his first father's day ever. 

We are beyond- words- blessed that we have the honor of being parents. 

Daniel is a more involved, sensitive & doting father than I could have ever imagined. His hands on approach & tender excitement towards our Ryder McCoy makes it that much easier to turn my cheek when little "oopsies" happen. (What more could you ask for?} A man who makes it easier to relax because of your abundant love & care of our baby.

 Happy Father's Day my Dear Loves.

Such LOVE, such HOPE we come HOME to in the Father's arms...

"BUT GOD HAS SURLY LISTENED AND HEARD 

MY VOICE IN PRAYER. 

PRAISE BE TO GOD, 

WHO HAS NOT REJECTED MY PRAYER

 OR WITHELD HIS LOVE FROM ME!"

Papa, I've been praying this verse over you since the moment I read it a month or so back as it resonates this deep truth in me for life:

The Father's heart is for you!

The verses before it say: 

"We went through the fire and water

but you brought us to a place of abundance."

when I think about what a father is i think of 

always accepting, always kind, always patient, always safe.

I think generous and one who makes a way for his children.

I think hugs and kisses and friendship.

I love you so much  and I am forever thankful for you!

Thinking of you, Happy Father's Day!

love ,

Meems & Daniel too

I cannott believe tomorrow I turn 27 years old.

The little girl wearing a slip and a straw hat romping through the backyard throwing feed to the chickens,

the one washing the face of her German- made babydoll feels not so far from me at all, still I know that girl still so well

I have to remind myself that i'm not so little anymore. I really do wonder sometimes how i got to be where I am today. So 27.

It's about the time I want to push pause on the remote of life.

But I know that life, its just going to get better, {which is hard to believe}, yet i know it's true.

My God says " Glory to GLORY", and I believe Him.

When life is as good as mine, its difficult to fathom there is a future that gets better.

I'm so thankful for the path I have chosen and the opportunities I have been given to choose it.

I'm constantly humbled that I have been given the chance to know Jesus, which is why i guess in many ways  why i've devoted my life to giving others that chance who may not otherwise have be handed it as I was.

At this moment I'm listening to one of my favorite worship songs as I type

the lyrics are

"Come away with me

I have a plan for you its going to be wild

its going to  be great

its going to be Fun.

open up your heart and let me in"

Here is how I concluded the week of my 26th  'wild, great, fun' year- ah what an adventure, and theres more where that came from!

Dear Mom, 
Happy Mother's Day to you!
Keep your eye on the mail because we've sent a special treat to arrive right on time for you.
I wish it could be US wrapped in a pretty little package to surprise you, but hopefully this mother's day treat will remind you of just how deeply you are loved.
 We won't have the time in our travels to phone exactly  during mother's day but look forward to our call on Monday from the Turkish lounge { where I will be heading to town to purchase your goods!!"}
we love you

XOXO

First Stop, Turkey.

Second stop...

Have we met before?

Then why do I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time?

I've questioned the last two times before if I could ever truly see myself in a long term relationship with India but...

This week I've fallen in love as if I'm seeing her for the first time and my earnest enjoyment and desire for her is growing. 
India is beautiful.

So far, I've been hissed at, stared down and spat at my feet,  with snot rockets hurled in my direction. I've got dirt under my nails and who knows what other unspeakable treasures on my sandal shod feet and  yet, I embrace it for the LOVE of it all. 

This is becoming normal.

Here are the beautiful things that between Daniel and I, our eyes and eventually the camera have captured. Partially at least.

 Be inspired. Be moved by the beauty of all God's beloved creation, the expression of culture and creativity in the food, the dress, the faces. 

This is Turkey and Delhi as we've seen it 

{well, a drop in the bucket of it at the very least}

Tulips in bloom. No photo touch ups here!

Food, Glorious food! 

Then Comes Delhi

what a special trip this has been already

third times a charm

&

the Spice Market

                                                                                 &

                     { a litte vice to go with my spice or a little spice to go with the vice}

                                               So that is Old Delhi as we've seen it thus far but....

TO BE CONTINUED....

April    |  23 |    2012

Happy Birthday  to the most lovely and adored Grandmother on this earth

On this day,

 While Sitting in this Chair,

I wrote in this journal,
{ the prayer journal where only my prayers of gratitude are recorded}

The following entry...

{ Dear Jesus, today is my Grandma's 80th Birthday!
I'm so thankful that my day is ahead of her's so that I can pray for her this morning before the celebration of her is even begun by anyone else! God, you are so kind, loving in all of your ways. How can I not thank you firstly for all the  times you have healed my Grandma? So many times you've retracted things that have threatened the quality of her life.  This reminds me that You Lord are healer and you Lord have ordained health and victory over sickness in her life. You proclaim steadfast love upon her and I'm  so thankful!
I think also about how you must feel towards her on this day that she was born, how you must see all the days you rescued her from harm, stooping down to make her great. I think of how precious her life is to you and this verse immediately comes to my remembrance:

" ...Never again will you fear harm...
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
- Zephaniah 3:16 & 17-

Jesus, thank you for this amazing day! My heart is filled with deep peace and true celebration knowing that you ' take great delight' in the day of Grandma's birth; Knowing that we can celebrate  with rejoicing and singing over Grandma  because you did first!

~ you will certainly rejoice over her with singing today, and everyday here after..}

Amen

Happy Birthday Grandma, We LOVE you  SO much!

"An anthropologist proposed a game to African tribe kids. He put a basket full of fruit near a tree and told them that whoever got there first, WON the sweet fruits. When he told them to run they all took each others hands and ran together, then sat together enjoying their treats!

When he asked them why they had run like that as one could have had all the fruits for himself they said:  " 'UBUNTU'. How can one of us be happy if all the other ones are sad?"

UBUNTU in the Xhosa culture means: "I am because we are".

sigh. I will miss Africa so much. 

I wish just taking a baby home with me from here was neither 

so complicated or so.. illegal.