one day in my life..

I wake up around 5:30 most mornings and listen to worship on my ipod, dancing in the breakfast room before the sun comes up. At 6:45 toast and a banana is served to our team for breakfast. we leave the house to walk through town and catch bus to our various sights. its about 3o-40 minute travel time. ( it would take too long to describe that adventure.. i will save that for later) toady it poured rain and we had to walk though the grossest water knee deep. you cant imagine what flows through these streets during rainy season!
When we arrive at Prem Dan which means "gift of love" we put on aprons and begin the seven step washing process. A slew of us women work in silence most of the time though when that many gals gather to do washing we cant help but get a little noisy. Though it is discouraged. Mother Teresa's number one "rule" of conduct was to work in the presence of God. This time is not a social hour. I actually prefer it that way. Then we ring out the clothes , put them in metal buckets and climb four flights of stairs until they are all transferred. Hang them up, go make beds, visit for an hour, feed snack, hour break for tea time, serve lunch, and visit some more than wash down the eating/social area. this is merely the schedule of what my day looks like but its what happens in that time that life happens, humility and pain is shared, comfort is shared, conversation, understanding, prayer, tears, laughter,Germs; its all shared.

Something happened in my heart yesterday that has made yesterday and today very difficult. One of the women had a familiar spirit to me. In some distant yet piercing way she really reminded me of Grandma. At that moment all of the woman stopped being else's "auntie" and into "Grandma" to me. And when i love someone... I'm toast. My filter changed and i couldn't merely serve these women in with any capacity of my own because a apart of my heart became involved that wasn't there before. It just came out of my mouth i said "its o.k grandma" to one of the ladies "I will help you." its hard because now that i love them its very difficult for me to wipe their mouths with the hem of my apron, i want a clean cloth to to clean there faces instead, i cant set them on the floor as easily because they have no undergarments to protect them, i cant do many of the things i did in days past as easily because i long for a different quality of care to love them with. I would NEVER EVER with the love i have for my own grandmother or mother give them half best of my care. So its become very difficult not to have the extras to love them with.
there's too much to write .. I'm not discouraged but i'm grateful. I really love this life. I really love living doing what i know i was made to do. I'm ready to move on to Darhmsala though. We have not seen any tangible "changes" here but i know that to one person their week was different. I sensed God telling me to rejoice with what he has put in my hands to love with here. He likened it to a tool box. He said "right nowyou have wrenches and hammer's in your hands. Will you be faithful with these small things because i have power tools ready for you. Worship me with gladness regardless of what you do or don't see happen in Kolkuta because get ready the best is yet to come." With a message like that you can image how very excited i am to see what else comes next.

anyway i love all of you very much thank you for your texts and comments on my blog. I leave on Monday and may only be able to write one more time for a while.
Draw near to God today friends- He is so good. xoxxoxo